Reframing the College Admissions Journey: Who is at the Center?

As an independent educational consultant, I’ve had the privilege of visiting countless college campuses and witnessing the incredible evolution of higher education firsthand. From cutting-edge majors and experiential learning opportunities to vibrant campus cultures filled with clubs, sports, and school spirit, it’s clear that today’s colleges offer far more than they did a generation ago. Parents on campus tours often marvel at how much has changed, wistfully saying, “I wish I could go back and study that major!”

These experiences, combined with conversations I’ve had with parents, underscore an important truth: while undeniably more complex and competitive, the college admissions process can also be exciting and full of possibilities. But for many families, anxiety, worry, or even frustration overshadow this potential. Let’s pause and reframe this journey.

Adjust your Focus to Positivity and Purpose

Rather than approaching college admissions as an overwhelming task, consider it an opportunity to explore your child’s future and dreams. Encourage your child to pause and reflect on a critical question: Why do you want to attend college?

Wait for their response.

If your child answers with clarity and enthusiasm, that’s wonderful—it shows they’ve already started to connect with their goals. But if they hesitate or seem uncertain, use this as an invitation to dig deeper. Keep asking “why,” drilling down to the core reason behind their aspirations. This reflection will guide not only their college search but also the entire admissions process.

Your Child Must Be at the Center

It’s tempting as a parent to overlay your hopes, dreams, or even your own college experience onto your child’s journey. Society often tells us there’s a one-size-fits-all formula for success: go to a “top” school, study a prestigious major, and achieve certain milestones. But the truth is, every child’s path is unique, and not every path requires college—at least not right away or in a traditional format.

As parents, we must ask ourselves throughout this process: Is my child at the center of this decision?

• If the answer is yes, keep going.

• If the answer is no, pump the brakes. Reflect on what might be getting in the way. Are pride, ego, or preconceived notions of success clouding your judgment?

This reflection isn’t always easy, but it’s essential. Keeping your child at the center empowers them to explore the experiences, environments, and opportunities that will truly support their growth, curiosity, and future success.

I share this with parents all the time within my school counseling practice, and it is extremely applicable to all aspects of your child’s life. If you make all the decisions for your child now, it can be detrimental to their growth and overall success later in life. So start early and allow your child to try things and work out situations with you as a guide, but now, you are the owner of the situation.

Stefanie’s moment of truth: In all honesty, as my oldest was working through her college list and figuring out her major, I could not help but have a prideful heart and seek colleges that were name-brand (not top-tier), but that would be great schools that would be nice to share with people who asked me where she was applying. I knew she would be a competitive applicant and have a good chance of being admitted, yet her voice was not as present in these types of schools. She seemed to retreat a bit and not feel overly excited about any of them. Was I a bit in shock? Yes, I was. Then, I had to have a quiet moment with myself and God and ask what was happening there. I realized quickly that I needed to listen to the advice that I give my clients regarding the college list. and where my daughter would ultimately attend college, allowing her to drive the process and choose schools that made sense for her, not for the name! My pride needed to be ejected, and I needed to trust the process and that it would all work out as it needed to with her choices central to the journey. No matter where she attended college, I needed to find joy for her and embrace her story! I already went to college and got to make these choices myself. Why would I want to rob her of the same beautiful opportunity?

Be Excited, not Exasperated!

Colleges today are incredible spaces of innovation and opportunity! From hands-on learning experiences like cooperative education programs and research opportunities to professors who mentor and guide students, the possibilities are endless. College isn’t just about academics; it’s about building a life, a community, and a future.

When parents can embrace this broader perspective, they often shift from being anxious observers to active, excited participants in their child’s journey. This mindset not only helps your child thrive but also strengthens your relationship as you navigate this process together.

If you’re feeling unsure about where to start or how to stay focused on your child’s needs, I recommend reading How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims. This book provides valuable insights into how we can foster independence, resilience, and a true sense of purpose in our children—key qualities that will serve them well not just in college but throughout their lives. Would you be interested in learning more about joining a book study with me on How to Raise an Adult? Complete this interest form here to register for our next session! Parents of all age children love it!

As you guide your child through the college admissions process, remember: this is their journey. Your role is to ask the right questions, offer support, and encourage self-reflection. By doing so, you’ll help them not only find the right college fit but also grow into confident, self-aware individuals ready to embrace the future.

At WayForward College Consulting, we believe every child deserves to feel empowered, supported, and excited about their next steps. The admissions process doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It can be a time of growth and discovery—for both your child and your family.

Let’s work together to make this experience a positive, purpose-driven chapter in your child’s life. Why delay?